ADHD Support: Behaviour

• Listen before giving advice and take feelings seriously.
• Avoid labels such as lazy, naughty, dramatic or attention-seeking.
• Protect positive time together that is not focused on problems.
• Explain plans and changes in advance where possible.
• Use specific language, one step at a time and visible reminders.
• Allow time to process and offer meaningful choices.

• When a task feels too large, unclear or effortful, a child may become stuck, avoid it or feel overwhelmed.
• Identify and begin the first step together when needed.
• Break tasks into smaller sections.
• Use timers, routines and consistent places for belongings.
• Offer movement or short breaks.
• Reduce non-essential demands during periods of stress.
• Support independence gradually rather than withdrawing help too soon.

• Make food and drinks accessible.
• Consider pain, illness, medication effects and physical-health needs.
• Offer preferred movement and allow fidgets that support focus.
• Adjust lighting, noise, clothing, seating or crowding.
• Provide access to a quieter or more comfortable space.
• Focus on comfort and participation, not simply appearing still or calm.

• Reduce pressure after school or demanding social activity.
• Allow quiet or low-demand time and keep sleep routines reasonably predictable.
• Plan recovery before and after challenging events.
• Treat rest as a need, not something that must be earned.
• Protect time for interests, hobbies and shared-interest friendships.
• Notice effort, progress, creativity, humour, fairness, curiosity and kindness.

• During intense activation or shutdown, long explanations, reasoning and consequences are less likely to help. Prioritise safety, reduce language and demands, and return to reflection later.
• Use fewer words and a calmer tone.
• Offer space or quiet company.
• Allow non-speaking communication.
• Address immediate safety without shaming.
• Ask what happened before the visible behaviour.
• Repair after conflict and model apology.

Not every difference needs correction. Ask whether it is unsafe, harmful or urgent, whether the expectation is realistic, and whether the environment could provide better support. Describe the situation rather than defining the child.

• Supporting a child who is struggling can be emotionally and physically demanding. Looking after your own wellbeing can help you remain emotionally available; it is not selfish.
• Share responsibility with trusted people where possible.
• Seek parent, family or professional support.
• Notice your own signs of overwhelm and pause before responding harshly.
• Repair when interactions do not go as intended.
• Make sure siblings also receive support and individual time.

Speak with a GP, school professional or relevant health or mental-health professional when difficulties continue, intensify, significantly affect school, sleep, eating, relationships or daily activities, or cause substantial distress to the child or family.

Courses are available for grown ups:

• All Saints Youth Project: non-violent resistance (NVR): specifically designed for responding effectively to aggressive, violent, self-destructive and controlling behaviour in children (from age 11), adolescents and young adults.
• Connective Familiy: provides support and training to parents and professionals, using a trauma-informed and neurodivergent-friendly non-violent resistance approach.
• Birmingham Carers Hub: nurturing ADHD kids: free, online, 6 week course for Birmingham parents and carers of children and young people with ADHD or suspected ADHD.

• Daily routines can help so everyone know what’s happening and when.
• Help is if grown-ups stay calm, kind, and fair.
• Prioritising the most important things to focus on first.
• Offering praise when child or young person tries their best.
• Offer of help when things feel or get tricky (like packing a school bag together).

Helpful tools

What can be useful:

• Calendars.
• Timers.
• Reminders.
• Picture charts.

These tools can help with knowing what to do and when.

• Taking breaks when the child or young person needs them.
• Frequently changing activities so things don’t get boring.
• Movement of the body (running, dancing, sports) helps your brain feel good and releases endorphins.

• Eating healthy foods like fruit and vegetables helps you feel strong.
• Drinking water is great for your brain.
• Too much sugar or energy drinks can make it harder to focus.

• Grown-ups will work together to help child or young person.
• What may help:
  • Movement breaks.
  • Quiet time.
  • Short breaks between work.

Please speak to school SENCO to discuss resources that may be available in support of child/young person

• It’s okay to have big feelings.
• Learn safe and kind ways to deal with them.
• Adults to remind child and young person of the rules and boundaries to keep everyone safe.
• Child and young person to speak to a trusted adult for support.

Courses are available for grown ups:

• All Saints Youth Project: non-violent resistance (NVR):  specifically designed for responding effectively to aggressive, violent, self-destructive and controlling behaviour in children (from age 11), adolescents and young adults.
• Connective Familiy: provides support and training to parents and professionals, using a trauma-informed and neurodivergent-friendly non-violent resistance approach.
• Birmingham Carers Hub: nurturing ADHD kids: free, online, 6 week course for Birmingham parents and carers of children and young people with ADHD or suspected ADHD.