Emotional Wellbeing
Waiting for an autism assessment can bring up lots of feelings. You and your child might feel:
- Hopeful
- Worried
- Frustrated
- Overwhelmed
All of these feelings are okay. There is no right or wrong way to feel.
Helping Your Child Feel Okay
Children waiting for an autism assessment might:
- Feel like they don’t fit in
- Find it hard to understand what’s going on
- Struggle with big feelings or behaviour
You might notice:
- Meltdowns or shutting down
- Anxiety or trouble saying how they feel
- A strong need for routine or sameness
- Sensory issues (like noise or touch)
- Difficulties with friends or social situations
Things that can help
- Keep routines clear: use pictures or simple reminders to show what’s happening next.
- Make a calm space: a quiet, comfy place to relax. Somewhere quiet with low lighting or soft textures they can retreat to when needed. You could involve them in this, such as building a den made from blankets.
- Talk while doing something: side-by-side chats (like during a walk or activity) can feel easier than face-to-face.
- Say their feelings are okay: this can help them to feel understood. Try saying: “I can see this is hard. It’s okay to feel that way.”
Looking after yourself
Caring for your child while waiting can be hard. You might feel:
- Tired
- Guilty
- Sad
- Like you’re not doing enough
These feelings mean you care. You are not alone.
Things that can help you
- Breathing exercises: calming your body down with a short breathing practice can signal a sense of safety to your brain, helping you to feel more relaxed and able to manage your feelings overall. Try “box breathing”:
Breathe in for 4 seconds; hold for 4; breathe out for 4; hold for 4 - Notice small wins: even tiny, good moments count. Noticing them helps shift your attention to what is working, even during tough times.
- Be kind to yourself: talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend.
- Talk to someone: it’s okay to ask for help. Talk to someone you trust or join a support group.
Where to get support
- Autism Central – Midlands Hub: join workshops or drop-ins with other parents.
- Parent-to-Parent Helpline: talk to another parent who understands.
- YoungMinds: help for young people and parents.
- National Autistic Society: advice about autism and wellbeing.
What to do in a crisis
If things feel unsafe or too much:
- Call 999 if someone is in danger or can’t stay safe.
- Call the Crisis Team (24/7) if your child needs urgent mental health help: 0300 300 0099 (press 1).
- For emotional support:
- Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)
- SHOUT: Text ‘SHOUT’ to 85258 (free, 24/7)
- YoungMinds Parent Helpline: 0808 802 5544