ASPIRE: Autism Support for Parents: information, resources and educationBack up
Supporting your child or young person:- Every child and young person is different, so the support they need will be different too.
- Support should be based on what each person needs, not just whether they have a diagnosis.
- You do not need a diagnosis to get most types of support.
BehaviourBack upWhat behaviour are you concerned about in your child or young person?
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Anxiety or stressBack up
Too much noise or light can feel overwhelming
- Loud sounds or bright lights can make someone feel anxious or upset. Children might cover their ears, leave the room, or become upset.
Changes can be hard
- If plans change or something unexpected happens, it can cause stress. This might lead to a child refusing to join in or needing time to calm down.
Big feelings are hard to manage
- Anxiety can make it harder to stay calm. Children might cry, shout, or go quiet because they don't know how to show how they feel.
Talking to people can be stressful
- Social situations can be confusing or scary. Some children might avoid talking, walk away, or act differently.
Too much going on at once
- When there's a lot to think about, it can feel like too much. Anxiety adds to this and, when feeling overwhelmed, children might need a break or stop what they're doing.
Why your child or young person might be feeling anxious or stressed
Changes, busy places or not knowing what's happening can make a child feel anxious.
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Anxiety or stress: adviceBack up
It's important to remember that distressed behaviour is not the child's fault. It's often a way of coping or communicating. What is going on with your child at the moment? What are they experiencing? If we understand the cause, we can give better support.
Keep things the same when possible
- Try to stick to routines. Let your young person know in advance if something is going to change.
Use clear and simple information
- Say what's happening, when, and why. Pictures, symbols, or written schedules can help.
Give time and space
- If someone is feeling anxious, give them time to calm down. A quiet space can help.
Help them understand feelings
- Use tools like feelings charts or emotion cards to help them name and talk about how they feel.
Plan for tricky situations
- Talk about what might happen and what they can do if they feel worried. Practice calming strategies like deep breathing or using a fidget toy.
It helps to:
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Anxiety or stress: resourcesBack up
Autism West Midlands
Information line:
- 0121 450 7582 or 0121 450 7582 (option 2)
- info@autismwestmidlands.org.uk
Children's behaviour (web page)
Managing stress and anxiety for autistic individuals (booklet)
Managing stress for parents (web page)
Understanding behaviour in autistic children (booklet)
Family Lives
Help with behaviour support:
Local Offer Birmingham
Supporting your Neurodivergent child (booklet)
Newbold Hope
Helps families understand and manage difficult behaviours in children with disabilities.
Anxiety and meltdowns (web page)
Youth Justice Service (Birmingham)
Birmingham Youth Justice Service works with children, young people, and their families across the city to support their needs to live a safe, positive life with an aspirational future.
- One Avenue Road, Aston, Birmingham, B6 4DU.
- 0121 464 0600
- BirminghamYJS@birminghamchildrenstrust.co.uk
Recommended by NDP staff
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Communication difficultiesBack up
Why your child or young person might be struggling with their communication
If a child can't say how they feel or what they need, they might show it through their body.
Hard to say what they need
- If a child can't explain how they feel or what they want, they might get upset, frustrated, or angry.
Not sure what others mean
- Children with autism might find it hard to understand body language, tone of voice, or facial expressions. This can lead to confusion or doing something others don't expect.
Talking to others can be tricky
- Starting or keeping a conversation going can be hard. This might make someone feel left out or want to be alone.
Too much going on
- If it's noisy or busy and they can't say they need a break, it can feel overwhelming and lead to a meltdown or shutdown.
Repeating things or sticking to routines
- Doing the same thing again and again or following a routine can help someone feel safe when talking is hard.
How your child is feeling:
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Communication difficulties: adviceBack up
Use simple words
- Say what you mean clearly. Avoid jokes or sayings that might be confusing.
Use pictures or symbols
- Pictures can help explain things. You can use them to show choices or routines.
Give time to answer
- Some people need more time to think before they speak. Be patient.
Repeat and show
- Say things more than once and use actions or pictures to help explain.
Talking and Understanding
Keep things calm
- Loud noises or bright lights can be upsetting. A quiet space helps.
Use routines
- Doing things the same way each day can make communication easier.
Say “well done”
- Praise any effort to talk or communicate, even if it's not perfect.
Environment
Get help from Speech and Language Therapists
- They can give advice and tools that fit the person's needs.
Talk with family and carers
- Share ideas and use the same strategies at home and school.
Encourage friendships
- Help the person join in with others in a safe and supported way. It is important to also respect times when your child would prefer to be alone.
Work Together
Communication difficulties: resources Not found what you're looking for?
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Communication difficulties: resourcesBack up
BCHC Speech and Language Therapy Team
You can find videos of communication strategies from the BCHC Speech and Language Therapy team:
Getting started with communication (video)
SALT strategy videos:
Supporting language development through play
Helping your child to make choices
Other BCHC Speech and Language Therapy resources
Augmentative and alternative communication (web page)
Autism West Midlands
Understanding behaviour in autistic children (booklet)
Local Offer Birmingham
Supporting your Neurodivergent child (booklet) Recommended by NDP staff
Communication difficulties: advice Not found what you're looking for?
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MeltdownsBack up
Why do meltdowns affect behaviour?
A meltdown is when a person becomes very upset and cannot control their feelings or actions. It is not bad behaviour - it is a sign that they are struggling.
Meltdowns can happen when:
- Things feel too loud, too bright, or too busy (sensory overload).
- There are too many changes or surprises.
- The person feels worried, stressed, or confused.
- They can't say how they feel or what they need.
During or after a meltdown, a person might:
- Shout, cry, or hit.
- Run away or hide.
- Refuse to talk or move.
- Feel tired or sad afterwards.
This is because their brain is trying to cope with big feelings.
Some children may have “shutdowns”. A shutdown is when your brain and body feel overwhelmed and need to take a break. It's like your system is saying, “I've had too much, I need to stop.”
During a shutdown, a child might:- Feel very tired or frozen.
- Stop talking or moving.
- Want to be alone.
- Find it hard to think or make decisions.
- Feel numb or disconnected.
Shutdowns can happen when:- There's too much noise, light, or activity.
- A child is feeling stressed, anxious, or upset.
- A child has been masking (hiding how they really feel) for a long time.
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Meltdowns: adviceBack up
Every child is different, so it’s important to find out what helps your child — for example, some children like to be comforted, while others prefer to have quiet time alone. Here are some examples of how you might support your child:
Stay calm
- Take a slow breath before you help.
Give them space
- Let them have time to calm down.
Keep things quiet
- Use soft voices and turn down the lights.
Help them feel safe
- Make the area calm and comfortable.
Talk later
- Wait until they feel better before talking about what happened.
Use comfort items
- Things like headphones, blankets, or fidget toys can help.
Be gentle
- Stay close if they like it, but do not crowd them.
No pressure
- Do not ask lots of questions or make them talk.
Stop all demands
- Do not ask them to do anything until they are calm again.
Stay nearby
- Let them choose if they want you close or far away.
Protect their privacy
- Move to a quiet place if you can.
Do not touch unless they want it
- Touch can feel too strong during a meltdown.
Be patient
- Meltdowns take time to stop.
Be kind afterwards
- Tell them they are not in trouble.
Do not punish
- A meltdown is not bad behaviour, it is too much stress.
Plan for next time
- Talk together about what helps.
How to help
Changes in routine
- You can try building more routines and predictability throughout the day. For example, you could try introducing a timetable either in writing or with pictures. If your child is not able to recognise words or pictures, try showing them a familiar object each time you do something, for example the car keys when you are about to go out. This will help them understand what is happening next.
Emotional overhwelm
- Clear routines: use pictures or simple reminders to show what's happening next.
- Calm space: make a quiet, comfy place to relax. You could build a den with blankets or use soft lighting.
- Talk while doing something: chat during a walk or activity. This can feel easier than face-to-face talking.
- Say their feelings are okay: try saying: “I can see this is hard. It's okay to feel that way.”
Feeling unsafe or pressured
- Remove pressure when you can.
- Offer simple choices to help your child feel more in control (for example, “Do you want to sit here or there?”). If your child is overwhelmed, two choices may be enough.
- Your child might have a safe space they like, or a favourite item they carry. This is okay — it helps them feel calm.
- Keep your language simple and try to stay calm. This helps your child feel that things are okay.
Physical needs
- Use a visual checklist to help your child understand what they need, for instance pictures of food, drink, rest. If pictures or words are hard to understand, just offer food, drink, or a quiet space.
- Try not to ask too many questions — this can feel stressful.
- You might notice a pattern in meltdowns. Think about: what time of day they happen, what happens before them. This can help you understand what your child needs.
Sensory overload
- Try to notice what your child reacts to — what they like or don't like. This can help you understand when they might feel more or less sensitive. Knowing this can help you support your child better.
Supporting different types of meltdown
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Meltdowns: resourcesBack up
Autism West Midlands
Information line:
- 0121 450 7582 or 0121 450 7582 (option 2)
- info@autismwestmidlands.org.uk
Children's behaviour (website)
Understanding behaviour in autistic children (booklet)
Ambitious about Autism
Local Offer Birmingham
Supporting your Neurodivergent child (booklet)
Family Lives
Help with behaviour support:
National Autistic Society
Meltdowns: a guide for all audiences (web page) Resources to help understand and support your child or young person's meltdowns
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Need for routineBack up
Why does the need for routine affect behaviour?
Sudden changes can be upsetting. Routines help children feel safe.
Autistic children often feel safer and calmer when they know:
- What is happening.
- When it is happening.
- What to expect next.
Routines help reduce stress and make the world feel more predictable.
If a routine changes suddenly, children may:
- Feel worried or confused.
- Have meltdowns or shutdowns.
- Show angry or upset behaviour.
- Refuse to do things.
This is because the change feels unexpected or scary.
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Need for routine: adviceBack up
Use visual timetables to show the day's plan
- Show the plan for the day using pictures or symbols.
Give warnings before changes happen
- Let your child know when something is about to change (for example, “In 5 minutes, we'll go outside”).
Keep routines the same when possible
- Stick to familiar patterns.
Talk about changes in advance using pictures or stories
- Use stories or visuals to explain what's going to happen.
How to help
Need for routine: resources Not found what you're looking for?
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Need for routine: resourcesBack up
Autism West Midlands
Autism West Midlands offer some visuals you can use to help your child with routine.
Understanding behaviour in autistic children (booklet)
National Autistic Society
Organising and prioritising - a guide for all audiences (web page)
Supporting your child with routine:
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Pain or illnessBack up
Different pain sensitivity
- Some autistic people feel pain more strongly (called hypersensitivity).
- Others may feel less pain than expected (called hyposensitivity).
- This means they might react in ways that seem unusual - like not noticing a serious injury or reacting strongly to something you may not think looked painful.
Trouble saying what hurts
- It can be hard for autistic people to explain pain with words.
- They might not know how to say where it hurts or how bad it is.
Pain can look like “challenging behaviour”
- Instead of saying “I'm in pain,” someone might:
- Cry or scream.
- Hit themselves or others.
- Run away or hide.
- Refuse to eat or eat too much.
- Become very quiet or still.
How does pain or illness affect your child's behaviour?
If a child is in pain or feeling unwell but can't explain it, they might show it through behaviour.
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Pain or illness: adviceBack up
Look for changes in behaviour
- They might be signs of pain.
Use pictures or pain scales
- Pictures and pain scales can help a child show how they feel.
Talk to doctors
- Explain your child's differences to help the doctor understand why your child may be reacting differently.
Be kind and patient
- Pain can be scary and confusing.
Supporting your child's behaviour if they're in pain or feeling ill
Pain or illness: resources Not found what you're looking for?
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Pain or illness: resourcesBack up
Autism West Midlands
Understanding behaviour in autistic children (booklet)
National Autistic Society
Supporting your child's behaviour through pain and illness
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Sensory differencesBack up
Sensory experiences are things we feel through:
- Hearing (sounds).
- Seeing (lights, colours).
- Touching (textures).
- Smelling (scents).
- Tasting (flavours).
- Moving (balance and body awareness).
People with autism may:
- Feel things too strongly (for example, loud sounds hurt their ears).
- Not notice things others do (for instance, not feel pain or cold).
- Seek out certain feelings (for example, love spinning or touching soft things).
If a sensory experience is too much or too little, it can cause:
- Meltdowns (crying, shouting, running away).
- Shutting down (being very quiet or still).
- Stimming (rocking, flapping hands, repeating sounds).
- Avoiding things (like busy places or certain clothes).
How sensory differences affect behaviour
Some children feel things (like sound, light or touch) very strongly.
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Sensory differences: adviceBack up
Notice what's causing stress
- Identify triggers (for example, loud noise, bright light).
Offer choices
- Provide options, such as headphones or quiet spaces.
Use calming tools
- For example, fidget toys, weighted blankets, soft textures.
Be kind and patient
- Your child is not being “naughty,” they are trying to feel safe.
Supporting your child's sensory needs to help their behaviour
Sensory differences: resources Not found what you're looking for?
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Sensory differences: resourcesBack up
BCHC Autism team
Sensory processing support (web page)
If you would like to talk through your concerns, you can contact us
- 0121 683 2320, option 5
- bchc.autismsupporthub@nhs.net
BCHC Paediatric Occupational Therapy team
Lots more information about sensory processing and strategies that might support you: Sensory processing support (web page)
Autism West Midlands
Understanding behaviour in autistic children (booklet)
Differing Minds
What is sensory processing (video)
National Autistic Society
More information about sensory differences:
Autism and sensory processing support page
Autistic sensory experiences booklet
Warrington Children's Occupational Therapy team (Bridgewater Community Healthcare NHS Trust)
Supporting your child's sensory differences when they're affecting behaviour
Sensory differences: advice Not found what you're looking for?
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Social rulesBack up
How does not understanding social rules affect your child's behaviour?
Things like taking turns or personal space can be hard to understand.
Social rules are things people expect you to do when you're with others. For example:
- Saying “hello” when you meet someone.
- Taking turns when talking.
- Standing at a comfortable distance from others.
Social rules are not always clear - People don't always explain what to do - they just expect you to know.
Rules can change - What's okay at home might not be okay at school or work.
Understanding feelings is tricky - It can be hard to know what others are thinking or feeling.
Social rules can be hard to understand because:
If a child doesn't understand the rules:
- They might say something that seems rude (but they don't mean to be).
- They might not join in with others.
- They might get upset or anxious when things are confusing.
- Others might misunderstand their behaviour.
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Social rules: adviceBack up
Explain rules clearly
- Use pictures, stories, or examples to show what's expected.
Practice social situations
- Role-play or use videos to show what to do if your child thinks this will be useful.
Be patient and kind
- Support, not punishment, helps learning.
Helping your child to understand social rules:
Remember, it's okay for people to communicate and interact differently.
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Social rules: resources
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StimmingBack up
Understanding stimming
Repetitive actions like hand-flapping or rocking can help a child feel calm
Stimming means doing the same movement or sound again and again. Examples include:
- Flapping hands.
- Rocking back and forth.
- Spinning or jumping.
- Repeating words or sounds.
- Tapping or touching things.
Stimming helps children:
- Feel calm when they are stressed or anxious.
- Block out too much noise, light, or other sensory input.
- Show excitement or happiness.
- Focus or think better.
Stimming might look unusual to others, but it's not bad behaviour.
Some children might stim more when they are:
- Upset.
- Excited.
- In a new or busy place.
If a child is stopped from stimming, they might feel worse or have a meltdown.
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Stimming - adviceBack up
Let them stim
- If it's safe and helps them feel better.
Offer calming tools
- Such as fidget toys or quiet spaces.
Understand the reason behind the stimming
- It's a way to cope.
Supporting your child's stimming
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Stimming: resourcesBack up
Are you worried about your childs safety?Back upIf you are worried about your child, please note this is not an emergency or mental health crisis service.
If you notice your child's health is deteriorating or your child is in immediate danger, please call 999 or go to A&E.
If you need urgent help for your child's health call 111, contact your GP for further advice or contact Forward Thinking Birmingham Crisis line on 0300 300 0099 for issues relating to mental health.
Birmingham health advice and information
CommunicationBack upHow do children and young people with Autism experience communication difficulties?
If a child can't say how they feel or what they need, they might show it through their body.
Some children may communicate in different ways. This might include:
- Finding it hard to learn or use spoken language.
- Needing pictures or symbols to help them communicate.
- Finding it hard to understand or use social communication (like taking turns in conversation).
- Struggling with social interaction (like making friends or understanding feelings).
- Not understanding jokes, sarcasm, or sayings that don't mean exactly what they say.
- Not knowing how to speak differently to different people (like teachers as opposed to friends).
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Communication: adviceBack up
In Birmingham, Speech and Language Therapy works through The Balanced System®.
The Balanced System® framework is a way of making sure that, in a setting, school or local area, the right provisions are available for parents, carers and professionals to help children and young people develop their speech, language and communication.
If your child is in school: - Talk to the school's SENCo (Special Educational Needs Coordinator) about your child's speech and language needs.
- If you don't know who the SENCo is, ask your child's class teacher. They will help you.
If your child is not in school: - Contact the BCHC Speech and Language Therapy Service.
Guidance if your child needs support with communication:
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Communication: resourcesBack up
BCHC Speech and Language Therapy Team
You can find videos of communication strategies from the BCHC Speech and Language Therapy team:
Getting started with communication video
SALT strategy videos:
Supporting language development through play
Helping your child to make choices
Other BCHC Speech and Language Therapy resources
Augmentative and alternative communication (website)
Autism West Midlands
Understanding behaviour in autistic children (booklet)
Local Offer Birmingham
Supporting your Neurodivergent child (booklet)
Supporting your child with communication issues
Emotional wellbeingBack upWhy can children with Autism struggle with their emotional wellbeing?
Emotional wellbeing can look a little different for autistic children - they may experience emotions more intensely, communicate them differently, or need extra support navigating them.
Emotional wellbeing refers to how a child understands, expresses, and manages their feelings. For autistic children, emotional wellbeing can look a little different - not because they feel less, but because they may experience emotions more intensely, communicate them differently, or need extra support navigating them. Autistic children may feel deep joy, curiosity, and connection, but can also become overwhelmed when routines change, environments are unpredictable, or communication feels challenging.
Research consistently shows that autistic children are more likely to experience emotional and mental health challenges than their non-autistic peers. Autistic children show consistently higher levels of mental health issues, including anxiety, low mood, and emotional distress, compared with allistic (non-autistic) children.
For many autistic children, emotional wellbeing challenges may appear as:
- Feeling overwhelmed in unpredictable or sensory-intense environments.
- Struggling to identify or communicate feelings.
- Experiencing high levels of anxiety around transitions or social explanations.
- Exhibiting shutdowns or meltdowns when emotional load becomes too intense.
- Showing signs of withdrawal, burnout, or increased distress at school or home.
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Emotional wellbeing: adviceBack up
Things that can help
- Keep routines clear: use pictures or simple reminders to show what's happening next.
- Make a calm space: a quiet, comfy place to relax. Somewhere quiet with low lighting or soft textures they can retreat to when needed. You could involve them in this, such as building a den made from blankets.
- Talk while doing something: side-by-side chats (like during a walk or activity) can feel easier than face-to-face.
- Say their feelings are okay: this can help them to feel understood. Try saying: “I can see this is hard. It's okay to feel that way.”
Looking after yourself
Caring for your child while waiting can be hard. You might feel:
- Tired.
- Guilty.
- Sad.
- Like you're not doing enough.
These feelings mean you care. You are not alone.
Things that can help you
- Breathing exercises: calming your body down with a short breathing practice can signal a sense of safety to your brain, helping you to feel more relaxed and able to manage your feelings overall. Try “box breathing”: Breathe in for 4 seconds; hold for 4; breathe out for 4; hold for 4.
- Notice small wins: even tiny, good moments count. Noticing them helps shift your attention to what is working, even during tough times.
- Be kind to yourself: talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend.
- Talk to someone: it's okay to ask for help. Talk to someone you trust or join a support group.
Supporting your child's and your own emotional wellbeing
Emotional wellbeing: resources Not found what you're looking for?
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Emotional wellbeing: resourcesBack up
Autism Central: Midlands Hub
Autism Central: Midlands Hub offers workshops or drop-ins with other parents.
Kooth
Wellbeing support for young people aged 13 and over (website)
Mind
Autism and mental health (web page)
National Autistic Society
Advice about autism and wellbeing.
Talk to another parent who understands
Parent-to-Parent Helpline (web page)
Mental health resources (web page)
Know yourself: resources for autistic teenagers (web page)
YoungMinds
Autism and mental health help for young people and parents (web page)
Supporting your child's emotional wellbeing
What to do in a crisis
If things feel unsafe or too much:
- Call 999 if someone is in danger or can't stay safe.
- Call the Crisis Team (24/7) if your child needs urgent mental health help: 0300 300 0099 (press 1).
For emotional support:
- Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7).
- SHOUT: Text 'SHOUT' to 85258 (free, 24/7)
- YoungMinds Parent Helpline: 0808 802 5544
Emotional wellbeing: advice Not found what you're looking for?
Feeding, eating and drinkingBack upWhy children can struggle with eating and drinking
Many autistic children have needs which affect their eating and drinking skills.
Eating and drinking are complex tasks which require many physical, cognitive and emotional skills.
If your child has difficulties with swallowing - gagging or coughing, choking, changes to colour or breathing, wet sounding voice or repeated chest infections - you should seek advice from your GP, Health Visitor or School Nurse as soon as possible.Challenges may include:
- Sensory differences: strong reactions to textures, tastes and smells and the visual aspects.
- Difficulties in recognising hunger, thirst and fullness.
- Differences in motor skills: picking up and moving food to the mouth, sitting at a table, managing cutlery, moving food in the mouth, sucking, chewing, swallowing.
- Social environment: sitting at a table with others and manging the complex interactions and demands this may bring.
- Feeling safe when things are the same: needing the same foods, brands, plates and cups.
- Strong interests and attention to detail: some children feel uncomfortable eating items which are not whole, for example of broken biscuit, or older children may become focused on only eating a certain type of cuisine or style of food.
It is important to remember that most autistic children do manage to meet their nutritional needs, even though their experiences and interests in eating and drinking may be very different from yours. Humans need the nutrients and energy from food, but our bodies don't mind about the specific recipes and meals that give us those nutrients and energy.
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Feeding, eating and drinking: adviceBack up
Supporting your child with eating and drinking
Ensure your child feels safe and regulated and that their sensory needs are met.
Write down the things that seem to help your child, and the things that cause them distress. Use a food diary to record the foods they enjoy eating and those they struggle with, as well as any other factors which you think might have contributed such as where they were eating, the time of day, noise and lighting levels.
The National Autistic Society website has a list of details you may want to look out for - Eating - a guide for all audiences, this could include:- What time of the day did they eat? 11.05
- What did they eat? Salt and vinegar crisps.
- Where did they eat? In the living room.
- How much did they eat? Two bags.
- Who was there? Mum, brother.
- How did people around respond to the person eating the particular food? Mum praised, brother had no reaction.
- Were there any environmental factors? Radio was on in the background.
Avoid pressure or bribery around food
- Avoid trying to force, bribe or persuade your child to eat foods that make them anxious or distressed.
Allow movement during meals - Acknowledging that your child may need move around in between bites of food rather than sit at a table, sit on the floor or use alternative seating.
Adapt cultural food expectations - Recognise that some aspects of you family culture such as a roast dinner every Sunday, or spicy traditional dishes may need to be adapted.
Reduce social demands at mealtimes - This could look like sitting together and ensuring one person talks at a times or allowing an older child to wear headphones.
Try different foods at different times - For example, breakfast foods for dinner or dinner foods at breakfast - children with autism may not have fixed ideas which match our own typical daily routine of foods.
Lowering demands around eating and drinking
Use messy play with food - Create opportunities for positive experiences with foods and drinks through messy play.
Let your child choose their utensils - Let your child choose cutlery, plates, cups and mats - which may reflect their sensory needs or interests such as a favourite character or colour.
Explore food as fuel through science - Learn about the science of food - helping children see food as fuel can often be a useful approach.
Involve them in shopping and cooking - Involve your child in shopping and cooking.
Use visual menus or symbols to express preferences - Create a simple family menu together.
Watch examples of eating and drinking - Watch a favourite TV programme or character which involves eating or drinking and join in.
Use communication supports - Provide communication supports for your child and model them by using them too - such as visual menus, or symbol communication to say “yum”, “yuk” or “I'm full now!”
Change the setting - For example, an indoor picnic. Change the location - blanket picnics in the living room, a snack in the bath.
Engage your child with eating and drinking in ways which are meaningful to them
Feeding, eating and drinking: resources Not found what you're looking for?
-
Feeding, eating and drinking: resourcesBack up
BCHC Speech and Language Therapy team
Sensory feeding difficulties video
Other SLT videos:
Top 10 tips for eating and drinking.
Eating drinking and swallowing difficulties (web page)
Local Offer Birmingham
Supporting your Neurodivergent child (booklet)
National Autistic Society
Eating - a guide for all audiences (web page)
Beat Eating Disorders
Eating disorders and autism (website)
Leicestershire Partnership NHS Trust
Supporting your child's feeding, eating and drinking
Feeding, eating and drinking: advice Not found what you're looking for?
Referrals and waiting listsBack upWhat happens during the referral process?
Your child can be referred by:
- Your GP.
- Their school or nursery.
- A health visitor.
- A paediatrician.
- A speech and language therapist.
- An occupational therapist.
- A social worker.
All referrals must be made through our online portal.
What needs to happen before referral?We ask that your child has 6 months of support before being referred. This helps us:
- Understand your child's needs.
- Make sure an autism assessment is the right step.
Support might include:
- Advice from a professional.
- Help at nursery or school.
- Joining a support group.
What happens after referral?
You'll be asked to answer questions about your child. These questions could include things like:
- how your child plays,
- communicates,
- manages their emotions,
- responds to sensory experiences,
- and copes with changes in routine.
This helps us decide if an autism assessment is needed. Please give as much detail as you can.
If you don't understand a question or need some help, contact 0121 683 2320 - option 5
If we don't have enough information we can't accept the referral, your child will be discharged and you'll need to start a new referral.
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Referrals and waiting lists: adviceBack up
Advice for parents and carers whose children are on the waiting list
- Reply to letters and emails quickly This helps us keep things moving to better support your child.
- Let us know if you can't come to an appointment We can rearrange it for you.
- Talk to people who support your child If your child goes to nursery or school, please tell them about the referral and anything you're worried about. They can help make sure your child gets the right support.
- Look at the advice on our Autism website pages.
- If you can't find what you need, you can call us on: 0121 683 2320 - option 5
To contact the NDP team:
- 0121 683 2320, option 5.
- bchc.autismsupporthub@nhs.net
Opening times:
- 8.30 a.m. to 4.15 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.
- 9.30 a.m. to 4.15 p.m. on Wednesday.
Referrals and waiting lists: resources Not found what you're looking for?
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Referrals and waiting lists: resourcesBack up
BCHC Autism team
Supporting you and your child during the referral process
Referrals and waiting lists: advice Not found what you're looking for?
SchoolBack upHow children can struggle in school
We want all children to enjoy school and have a good experience. But we know that school can sometimes be hard for children who are autistic or might be autistic.
Autistic children might struggle in school because it can feel busy, noisy, and confusing. Bright lights, loud sounds, or lots of people can be overwhelming. They may find it hard to understand teachers or other children, especially if instructions are fast or not clear. Changes to routine - like a new teacher or a different classroom - can also cause stress. Sometimes it’s difficult for them to say how they feel, so they might get upset or tired more quickly. With patience, clear routines, and the right support, school can feel much easier and safer for them.
Signs your child might be struggling at school:
Getting very tired School can be tiring. They may seem exhausted after class or need lots of quiet time. Finding it hard to cope with noise Loud classrooms, busy corridors, or sudden sounds might upset or overwhelm them. Changes in behaviour They might become more quiet, more anxious, or get upset more easily than usual. Difficulty with changes Sudden changes to timetable, new teachers, or different routines can be very stressful. Trouble understanding instructions They may need instructions to be slower, clearer, or shown visually. Avoiding schoolwork This could look like refusing tasks, becoming distracted, or shutting down. Friendship worries They may feel left out, confused by social rules, or unsure how to join in with others. Meltdowns or shutdowns They might have big emotional reactions (meltdown) or become very quiet and withdrawn (shutdown). Physical signs of stress Headaches, stomach aches, or wanting to stay home more often can be signs of overwhelm. -
School: adviceBack up
Support is based on needs
- Your child does not need a diagnosis to get help at school.
- Support should be given based on what your child needs, not just a label.
- This is part of the law called the Children and Families Act.
- Teachers can make simple changes (like visual timetables or quieter spaces) to help your child feel more comfortable.
- Schools must listen to your child and to you, and think about what will help them learn and feel safe.
- Support can be small or big, such as extra breaks, clear instructions, or help with friendships.
- Your child’s needs may change, and schools should review support regularly.
- You can ask the school at any time for more help if things are not working well.
What to do if you're worried
If you're worried about your child's learning or support at school:
- Talk to the school's SENCo (Special Educational Needs Coordinator).
- Ask what help your child is already getting.
- Work together to plan any extra support your child might need.
Advice for supporting a child who is struggling in school
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School: resourcesBack up
Autism Education Trust
Autism Education Trust works with schools and teachers to help autistic children and young people.
Birmingham Local Offer
A website with information for families of children with special needs or disabilities. You can find:
- Help with education.
- Support services.
- EHCP (Education, Health and Care Plans).
- Information about the Communication and Autism Team (CAT).
Supporting your Neurodivergent child (booklet)
Children's Services
Children's Services helps with finding a school and EHCPs: 0121 303 1888.
Communication and Autism Team
Communication and Autism Team supports schools and families of children with autism.
King's Trust (previously The Prince's Trust)
King's Trust supports young people aged 13 to 25 to reach their goals: 0800 842 842.
Pupil and School Support Service (PSS)
PSS offers free resources and advice for parents teaching children with SEND at home.
School Exclusions Team
If your child is excluded from school, the School Exclusions Team can help: 0121 303 2685.
School Transitions
Moving to a new school can be hard for autistic children. School Transitions support might include:
- Extra visits.
- Visual guides.
- Summer school activities.
Talk to the SENCO at your current and new school.
SENDIASS (Special Educational Needs and Disability Information, Advice and Support Service)
SENDIASS gives free advice to families and young people with SEND.
Supporting your child at school
SensoryBack upWhat are sensory differences?
Every human has their own unique profile of how they recognise and react to sensory information.
Sight - How things look.
Sound - How things sound.
Touch - How things feel.
Taste - How things taste.
Smell - How things smell.
Our senses include:
Balance - Knowing if you're moving or still.
Body awareness - Knowing where your body is.
Inside feelings - Like feeling hungry or needing the toilet.
But also:
Many autistic or neurodivergent children experience significant differences in the way they take in and respond to sensory information from their environment, and from within their own bodies. These are called sensory processing differences. Children may have a low threshold for types for sensory experiences, examples include:
- Loud noises, bright lights, or strong smells can feel too much.
- Some clothes or foods might feel uncomfortable or painful.
- Disliking the feel or sand or grass.
- Being uncomfortable on a swing.
Children may have a high threshold sensory for experiences, examples include:
- Repeating or creating specific sounds.
- Enjoying strong movement like spinning or jumping.
- Touching things a lot to feel them better.
- Crashing in to objects and people around them.
Some children are able to respond to their need for less, or more sensory input - and will avoid what they dislike or seek out what they need. They actively respond to their sensory needs.
Some children do not respond to their needs for less, or more sensory input and do not avoid what they dislike or seek out what they need. They do not actively respond to their sensory needs.-
Sensory: adviceBack up
Supporting your child with their sensory needs
All children have unique sensory experience of sensory processing, and most children have a mixture of both seeking out some types of input and avoiding others. This is called their sensory profile.
A child's sensory needs are closely linked to their arousal (energy) level, which in turn affects emotional regulation. By helping children understand and respond to their sensory profile we can help them match their arousal (energy) to the activity and their environment.
It is very important for autistic / neurodivergent children that we recognise and respond to their sensory needs. We should accept and trust what a child tells us through their words or actions about their sensory experience.
How this affects daily lifeTalking and listening - Noisy places can be distracting.
Making friends - Might not like hugs or eye contact.
Learning - Busy classrooms can be overwhelming.
Feelings and behaviour - Too much sensory input can cause meltdowns or shutdowns.
Sensory differences can make some things harder, like:
Sensory differences can also give children great joy and foster engagement and regulation - for example looking carefully at patterns or bright lights, or enjoying the feel of sand or water. We can use the experiences that bring happiness, calm, or energy to a child to help them grow and learn.
Sensory differences can form the foundation for many skills for autistic people such as balance skills for performers or sportspeople, visual skills for artists or the ability to focus carefully on patterns for engineers or designers.
Meeting a child's sensory needs means supporting and accommodating the things they find hard but also recognising their sensory joy and skills. -
Sensory: resourcesBack up
BCHC Autism team
Sensory processing support page
If you would like to talk through your concerns, you can contact us
- 0121 683 2320, option 5
- bchc.autismsupporthub@nhs.net
BCHC Paediatric Occupational Therapy team
Lots more information about sensory processing and strategies that might support you: What are sensory needs? (video)
Sensory processing support page
Autism West Midlands
Differing Minds
What is sensory processing (video)
Local Offer Birmingham
Supporting your Neurodivergent child (booklet)
National Autistic Society
More information about sensory differences:
Autism and sensory processing support page
Autistic sensory experiences booklet
Warrington Children's Occupational Therapy team (Bridgewater Community Healthcare NHS Trust)
What is sensory processing video
Supporting your child's sensory differences when they're affecting behaviour
SleepBack upHow children with Autism struggle with their sleep
Differences in brain chemistry - Some autistic children have irregular melatonin levels. Melatonin is a hormone that helps control sleep.
Sensory sensitivities - Some children may be very sensitive to light, sound, touch, or temperature. This can make it hard to feel comfortable enough to sleep.
Difficulty with routines - Changes in routine or not having a clear bedtime routine can make sleep harder. Many autistic children benefit from predictable routines to help them feel safe and ready for bed.
Anxiety or overthinking - Worrying or thinking a lot at bedtime can make it hard to fall asleep. Some autistic children may find it difficult to "switch off" their thoughts.
Communication challenges - If a child can't easily explain what's bothering them (like being too hot, cold, or scared), it might lead to sleep problems.
Other health conditions - Some autistic children also have conditions like ADHD, epilepsy, or gastrointestinal issues, which can affect sleep.
Some autistic children and young people may have challenges with sleep. This might be for lots of different reasons:
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Sleep: adviceBack up
Create a bedtime routine
- Do the same things every night before bed (for example, bath, story, quiet time).
- Use pictures or a visual timetable to show the steps.
- Keep the routine calm and simple.
Make the bedroom comfortable
- Keep the room quiet and dark.
- Use soft bedding and favourite toys.
- Remove distractions like screens or clutter.
Reduce screen time before bed.
- Turn off TVs, tablets, and phones at least 1 hour before bedtime.
Help your child relax
- Try calming activities like gentle music, breathing exercises, or a warm bath.
- Weighted blankets or sensory toys may help some children feel safe.
Talk about worries
- Help your child say what's bothering them.
- Use emotion cards or drawings if talking is hard.
Supporting your child with their sleep
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Sleep: resourcesBack up
If your child has a diagnosis of Autism, you are concerned about sleep, and have tried the strategies and organisations below, please request a referral to the Community Paediatricians via your GP.
Autism West Midlands
Cerebra Sleep Advice Service
One-to-one support, guides, and booklets to help children with sleep difficulties.
Local Offer Birmingham
Supporting your Neurodivergent child (booklet)
National Autistic Society
The Teen Sleep Hub
A UK-based website created by The Sleep Charity to help teenagers, parents, and schools understand and improve sleep.
Supporting your child with their sleep
Social circumstancesBack upHow social circumstances affect families
Parents tell us that supporting a child who has additional needs or a disability can bring many joyful moments, but can also be hard and can at times feel lonely.
As a parent, you may be experiencing any of the following:- Stress and tiredness.
- Money or housing worries.
- Feeling alone.
- Misunderstanding from others.
- Finding it hard to navigate school systems.
- Cultural and language barriers.
There may be other things you are experiencing or feeling. All of these are valid.
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Social circumstances: adviceBack up
You're not alone
- Many families face similar challenges - it's okay to ask for help.
- Talking to other parents or carers can help you feel supported and understood.
Look after your own wellbeing
- If you feel overwhelmed, anxious, or low, please speak to your GP - your health matters too.
Share information with others
- If your child goes to nursery or school, let staff know about the referral and any worries you have. This helps them give the right support and understand your child better.
Learn and use advice
- There is lots of helpful information online and in your community.
- You don't have to do everything alone - support is available.
Supporting families
Social circumstances: resources Not found what you're looking for?
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Social circumstances: resourcesBack up
Connecting with other parents either online or in person to share your experiences and learn from others can be really helpful.
Autism West Midlands
Autism West Midlands supports autistic people and families as well as those awaiting assessment in the West Midlands.
Contact
Contact helps families with disabled children.
SEND
SEND Socials: fun, friends and the support you need right here in Birmingham. Local organisations that can help:
If a child is not safe
If a child is in immediate danger, call 999 right away.
If you are worried a child or family needs help to stay safe, call Children's Social Services: 0121 303 1888.
POhWER
POhWER is a UK charity that helps people speak up and be heard. Advocacy support
Birmingham Local Offer
- Birmingham Local Offer has information for families with children who have SEND or extra needs.
Disability Living Allowance (DLA)
- you might qualify for DLA to help care for your child.
Family Fund
- Family Fund is a charity that gives grants to families with disabled or seriously ill children.
Turn2us
- Turn2us is a charity that helps people who are struggling with money.
Money worries? Help is available
Birmingham City Council
- Birmingham City Council: if you need help with housing in Birmingham.
Housing help
Social circumstances: advice Not found what you're looking for?
ToiletingBack upNot knowing when to go
- Some children may not recognise the feeling of a full bladder or bowel due to sensory differences.
Communication difficulties
- They might not know how to tell someone they need the toilet or may not understand phrases like “go to the toilet.”
Sensory sensitivities
- Bathrooms can be overwhelming due to loud flushes, bright lights, strong smells, or cold surfaces.
Fear or anxiety
- They may be scared of germs, flushing sounds, or unfamiliar toilets.
Difficulty generalising skills
- A child might learn to use one toilet but struggle to use others in different places.
Health issues
- Constipation, bladder problems, or other medical issues can also affect toileting and should be checked by a doctor. If you are worried your child may be experiencing constipation, bladder problems or medical issues, please speak to your GP.
Smearing or withholding
- Some children may smear poo due to sensory seeking or struggle with withholding due to anxiety or discomfort.
Some autistic children may have difficulties with learning how to use the toilet. This could be for lots of different reasons:
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Toileting: adviceBack up
Supporting your child with their toileting
Help your child notice when they need a wee or poo by talking about what it feels like when you need the toilet.
Keep all toileting things (like nappies) in the bathroom.
If using nappies, change them in the bathroom and put the poo in the toilet, so your child sees where it goes.
Think about clothes that are easy to take off.
If nappies feel comforting, try tight-fitting pants, shorts, or other ways to give deep pressure (like tight clothes or a weighted lap pad).
If they dislike the feeling of poo, offer other safe, sensory activities, such as fiddle toys or playdough.
If balance is tricky, add grab rails or something to hold onto.
Practice sitting on the toilet as part of the daily routine (no pressure to wee or poo). A fidget toy can help them stay calm.
Give praise and encouragement for small steps. Stay calm if accidents happen.
Let your child use favourite toys or items to feel more comfortable in the bathroom.
Some children will wee on the toilet, but want a nappy for poo.
Start by getting them to go to the bathroom for pooing, then move gradually:
- Standing near the toilet,
- Sitting on the toilet with a nappy on,
- Loosening the nappy over time.
Use visual supports and rewards to teach new habits.
Celebrate successes and remember progress can be slow.
Give clear information and support to help your child become as independent as possible.
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Toileting: resourcesBack up
BCHC Health Visiting Service
Access support for toilet training through BCHC Health Visiting Service.
BCHC School Nursing Service
BCHC School Nursing Service also offer support with toileting.
BCHC Paediatric Occupational Therapy Team
BCHC Paediatric Occupational Therapy Team (web page)
ERIC
The national charity dedicated to improving children's bowel and bladder health.
Toileting support for Autistic children
Local Offer Birmingham
Supporting your Neurodivergent child (booklet)
National Autistic Society
Toileting - a guide for parents and carers Supporting your child with their toileting
Not found what you are looking for?Back upIf you're feeling unsure about what kind of support you need, please know that you're not alone. Many parents and carers of Autistic children and young people face complex and overlapping challenges. It's completely normal to feel uncertain at times.
There is no single “right” way to seek support. What matters most is identifying the issue that's currently concerning you and taking the first step toward understanding it better.
To help you get started:- Explore our Autism website - you may find it helpful to browse through the different sections to see if any of the information resonates with your situation or offers guidance.
- You may also find it helpful to look at:
Remember, support is available, and you don't have to navigate this journey alone.
If you can't find what you need, you can get in touch with us:
- 0121 683 2320, option 5.
- bchc.autismsupporthub@nhs.net
Opening times:
- 8.30 a.m. to 4.15 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.
- 9.30 a.m. to 4.15 p.m. on Wednesday.
Feedback
We have recently developed the Autism website to support children, families and carers waiting for an Autism assessment. Your valuable feedback will help us to continually improve these pages. Please take a moment to fill in a short Autism website survey.
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Worried about the safety of your child?Back up
If you are worried about your child, please note this is not an emergency or mental health crisis service.
If you notice your child's health is deteriorating or your child is in immediate danger, please call 999 or go to A&E.
If you need urgent help for your child's health call 111, contact your GP for further advice or contact Forward Thinking Birmingham Crisis line on 0300 300 0099 for issues relating to mental health.
Birmingham health advice and information
Our patients and their carers and families are the reason we're here, so we want to hear your views about the Trust and our services.